A LOOK BACK: Afraid of the Dark

Read John 1:1-18

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid.” (John 14:27)

The night was dense, thickened by the looming darkness that fell swiftly over the land. A fog had rolled in off of the sea that night, a mist of death that shrouded the land like a linen that covers a grayish dead corpse from passers by.  The air was cut thin by an uneasy feeling, a horrid sense of despair that crept in one’s bosom and suffocated away the life.

There in the distance, I could make out a shape through the fog. I squinted as if to focus in and, the more focused I became, I began to realize that the shape was the body of my friend Lucy. Her figure was lying still on top of a marble bench in the cemetery outside of the abbey. A called out to her in hopes that she would hear me; however, she lay there motionless as if she were made of marble herself.

At the sound of my voice I noticed movement. Directly behind Lucy’s motionless body loomed a shadowy figure. It was hunched over her like a vulture that has come to eat the flesh of its prey. What looked like its head raised up and I could see, cutting through the thickened veil of mist, two beady, red orbs illuminating a path straight toward me. Terror overwhelmed me as I realized that its eyes, its terrible red eyes were fixed on me. It was at that moment that I felt the blood within me grow icy cold with the fear of death.

The scene above is one that is forever etched into my mind. It is my representation of a scene that I read in Bram Stoker’s Dracula, where Mina follows a sleepwalking Lucy out to the chapel at Whitby and sees, for the first time, the shadowy monster we all have come to know as Count Dracula. There are lots of memorable moments in that book, and the truth be told that it is my favorite novel; however, there is no other scene in the book that stands so horrifying in my mind that that very scene.

What is it that makes us so afraid of the dark and of darkness? Is it that our sight and our senses are limited? Is it that what lies beyond our sight is unknown to us and, as we all know, we fear what is unknown? The fact of the matter is that, whether it be day or night, there is much to fear in this world. Evil exists, and its monstrous presence in this world can be experienced even in the seemingly safest of places. In fact, don’t let the light and your senses decieve you. You are no more guaranteed safety in the light of day than you are in the dark of night.  We live in a world where cruelty, depravity and hopelessness seem to rule.

Yet, we are not without hope for we know that evil does not rule. We know that God sent true light into the world, the light of life, and that life resides in each and everyone of us. We can give into our fears and close out the light of God, or we can open our hearts to that light and let it transform us into beacons of hope, healing and wholeness for the rest of the world. In Jesus of Nazareth we see such a light, in Jesus Christ we see the hope of God carried out in humanity and we see the frailty of evil.

Do not let your fears conquer you. Trust that the true light of God is within you and shine it out for the world to see. Live as Christ did in this world. Love God by unconditionally loving others. Remove your fear and your cynicism and be a sanctuary of hope, healing an wholeness for the people around you who desperately need it. Shine that light no matter how the world reacts. Know that not even death can stop that light from shining within you for it is the light of Christ who conquered death.

“What is needed, rather than running away or controlling or suppressing or any other resistance, is understanding fear; that means, watch it, learn about it, come directly into contact with it. We are to learn about fear, not how to escape from it.” – Jiddu Krishnamurti

Lord, help me to conquer my fear. Fill me with your light and through me, bring hope, healing and wholeness to those who need it. Amen.

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